Ugh, so, it’s MLK Day… And I was supposed to go do some kalo field restoration but I woke up with a stomachs ache and stayed home (in my defense, it’s on the other side of the island, takes me an hour to get there by bus and I would’ve had to leave the house by 6:30 to get there on time). So around noon I decided to make myself some food. Trying to be halfway healthy and control my portions I made a quesadilla with a whole wheat tortilla and two slices of cheese. To be honest, I’d probably make a snack out of that any other day, hell, I would’ve made two as a snack, that wouldn’t even be going to town. I’d probably throw some corn chips on the side and slap half an avocado on top. Lo and behold, my Barbie sized quesadilla and a glass of almond milk actually came out to 400 calories. I also weighed myself while the cheese was melting… 165.2… Not. Okay. Tomorrow I’m going to march into the student rec services office and sign up for Tahitian Dance, Hula, Zumba, and god knows what else. I have 45 pounds to lose. I hope my skin isn’t loose and flappy afterwards… I really really hope. I think it should be fine, right? People lose 50 pounds all the time? Right? I don’t have TV… Need to watch biggest loser.
So it’s 3:51AM Hawaii-Aleutian Time…
I’m eating a can of Dole pineapple chunks in 100% Pineapple Juice. I have heartburn. I also have bug bites and they are KEELEENG me! I probably have heartburn from eating a quarter of a haupia pie… I guess that’s coconut cream for anyone that isn’t familiar with island terminology. I’m unhappy about how unattractive I am. So instead of moping about and spurning people with cameras, I’ve decided to do something about it. Tomorrow I’ll post measurements and blah-di-blah, but I think I’m around 160 lbs and maybe 5’7” or so? My BMI is in the “overweight” zone… so… yeah, I should really do something about it. I haven’t been 120 for a while, but I remember being 130 say… 2 years ago? That was a fairly comfortable weight, but I remember wanting to be just a bit thinner. I don’t want to be one of those tumblr girls that goes insane and sets a goal at 130 and next thing you know she’s 99 pounds. I’m just trying to eat more healthily, and sustainably, as well as adopting a more proactive lifestyle in general. I mean… once I reach my goal, it’s not like I’ll never eat an entire pie or box of Krispy Kreme donuts or pint of Ben & Jerry’s creme brule or pound of pistachios or whatever else I shovel into myself ever again. But, it won’t be a way of life, I guess. Loving food is part of my personality, but I could do without a lot of the shit I eat. Why 120? 120 is a healthy weight for someone of my height and build so I’m promising myself right now that I will stop losing weight, and start maintaining my weight once I reach that goal.
